Why Men Fear Chinese Torture

A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he
comes upon a small 
house. He knocks on the door and is
greeted by an old Chinese man with a 
long grey beard. “I’m
lost,” said the man, “Can you put me up for the

night?”

“Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but one
condition. If you so much as 
lay a finger on my daughter I
will inflict upon you the three worst 
Chinese tortures
known to man.”

“OK,” said the man, thinking that the
daughter must be pretty old as 
well, and entered the
house.

Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She
was young, beautiful 
and had a fantastic body. She was
obviously attracted to the young man 
as well, as she
couldn’t keep her eyes off of him during the meal.

Remembering the old man’s warning he ignored her and went
up to bed 
alone.

During the night he could bear it no
longer and snuck into her room for 
a night of passion.
Near dawn, he quietly crept back to his room so the 
old
man wouldn’t hear, exhausted but happy.

He woke to feel a
pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large

rock on his chest with a note on it that read:

“Chinese
Torture 1: Large rock on chest.”
“Well, that’s easy,” he
thought. “If that’s the best the old man can do 
then I
don’t have much to worry about.” He picked the boulder up,
walked 
over to the window and threw it out. As he did so,
he noticed another 
note on it that read:

“Chinese
Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.”
In a panic he
glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting

close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better
than 
castration he jumped out of the window after the
boulder. As he 
plummeted toward the ground he saw a large
sign on the ground that read:

“Chinese Torture 3: Right
testicle tied to bed post.”